Strangers, Again.

Our lives will continue on in different directions
Towards the inevitable end - becoming strangers again.
And everything we shared will just become fragmented memories
From so long ago I'll question if it even really happened.
And all that'll be left... is this.
A box of random stuff.
From a faded period of time
When this stranger... was the most important person in my life.
What a shame.

ps. david choi!

To Be Continued.

Believe in love. Believe in magic.
Hell, believe in Santa Claus. Believe in others.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams.
Because if you don't, who will?

it's scary, isn't it? when your entire future suddenly changes right in front of you. and all your dreams of what would be suddenly fall apart. when what you believed in all along suddenly becomes a lie - and you can't do anything about it.

looking back, yeah i know i was - and still am - far from perfect. i've made so many mistakes it's impossible to even try counting. but i've learned a lot during this time. i've learned that opening up to those i love emboldens and strengthens me. i've learned that friends always make you smile. i've learned that timing means everything. i've learned what it means to fall in and fall out of love. i've learned never to just take anything for granted. and i'm thankful for this. i once thought that if i just tried my best - did all that i could - that that would be enough. but sometimes, it simply isn't. each moment in life passes by only once.. and when you miss that one chance, well.. there's nothing you can do to bring it back.

but do i regret anything? i used to.. but not anymore. the thing is, once i pushed myself past my limits, poured my heart out, and made it out alive, i had nothing to regret. it simply made me realize that, well, what we had.. this was all it was ever going to be. our love.. it was only to this extent. sure, it's worth fighting for.. but to what end? you know, i almost.. no, i did let this situation make me feel worthless and impossible to love. i felt as if i'd go crazy, as if the world had ended for me. funny thing is, once all the anger and tears had finished their course, i learned it was only fear that kept me in this standstill. fear of being alone, being hurt, being betrayed again.

i guess all i'm saying is that sometimes, reality loves to slap you in the face. things happen that you don't expect. and it will hurt, sometimes a lot. but - no matter what happens - it's only one chapter in your life. maybe a poorly written one, but a chapter nonetheless. and for me, my story definitely isn't over. it's just begun.

I believed in Santa Claus once, too.

As long as you have memories, yesterday remains.
As long as you have hope, tomorrow still awaits.

a lot has been going on in my life at the moment, too much to say. if you know me well enough, you'll know that GREEK is like my favourite show to watch of all time. i don't even know how many times i've rewatched their episodes. and one of the reasons why i love it so much is that - somehow - something happens in the show that i can always relate to at that time in my life. and i just wanted to write down one of the conversations that two of the characters had with each other:

R: Love at first sight...you really believe in that?
E: ...You don't?
R: shakes head. I learned it's purely chemical. The high you get from perceiving someone as romantically appealing is simply your brain responding to endorphin boosts based on visual stimuli and pheromones.
E: That's very clinical...and cynical. It's clinically cynical.
R: It's a biological response.
E: So love...doesn't exist.
R: Nope. I believe in dating and relationships, but...love is a myth.

-//-

E: True love.
R: Please, it's just a silly movie. It's not real - there's no such thing.
E: ...So you weren't in love with Cappie?
R: No. Were you in love with Casey?
E: ...Yeah, I think so.
R: Yah, well you're not with her now. So what does that say about true love?
E: It doesn't mean it can't happen.
R: Like it did with my parents? Or yours? Not exactly the earth-shattering, life-altering revelation they make it out to be in the movies.
E: That doesn't mean it's not real.
R: Do you have proof?
E: No. I just believe in it.
R: smiles. I believed in Santa Claus once, too.

Oh How He Loves Us So.

I am sure all of heaven’s heard me cry
As I tell You all the reasons why this life is just too hard.
But day by day, without fail I’m finding everything I need
In everything that You are to me.

it's so hard to remember what's important sometimes in this crazy, hectic life. and it's so, so hard to remember that we're not in it alone - at least that's how it is for me. there's times where everything just seems so unfair. so ridiculous. but then, there's those random moments that just freeze time - those moments where all the things that i have to be thankful for come rushing at me. those moments that just make me feel so alive.

i was having my own praise and power time in my room today - not with instruments or live music or anything - just myself and the radio, not that it matters because it was all the same amazing. well, just as i was about to go back to studying, i read an email about someone now in the hospital in critical condition. it's not like i was super close to him or anything, but i just had one of those moments - like God was right there, showing me all that i was, and am, blessed to have. and that he's always been there for me, in whatever i did and wherever i was. oh, how He loves us so.

----
Every time I breathe, You seem a little bit closer
I never wanna leave, I wanna stay in Your warm embrace.
Oh, basking in the glory shining from Your face and
Every time I get another glimpse of Your heart,
I realize it’s true, that You are so marvelous God,
And I am so in love with You.
Yeah, so in love with You.

You are marvelous God and knowing You is everything.
i'm forever indebted to You for all that i have.
please surround and give strength to their family, God.

Second to the Right, Then Straight On 'Til Morning.

The tragedy of life
Is not that it ends so soon,
But that we wait so long to begin it.

for quite some time now, my parents have been discussing with my brother about his future - how'll he improve his grades, what'll he become, where'll he go - all that jazz. they're trying to 'motivate' him to do better. don't get me wrong, i'm not at all against motivating people to study harder and pushing them forward with their lives. but that 'pushing' - it still has to come within reason. if someone wants to go one direction, but you're putting all your effort into pushing him the other way - you're bound to reach a standstill.

my brother's in grade 10. well, technically grade 11 now. he doesn't have the slightest idea of what he wants to become or where he wants to be in the next few years - and how many grade 10s can say that they do? all he knows is that he loves art and history. and that's about it. he's not bad at them, but not the greatest either. and that's what's getting my dad all..controlling, for lack of a better word. dad believes that history won't get him anywhere. he also believes my brother won't make it in that area [wow, this made my brother ever so much more motivated]. and of course, he believes that my brother should take computers because he has 'potential' in it. just like him. now, i find that to be quite a biased opinion. [in more than a few words - (1) my brother absolutely dislikes that course, (2) he's getting lower in it than he is in the courses he loves, and (3) he only believes my brother has potential in it because he knows he can help him along the way. trust, i've seen and helped my brother write programs - he's not much of an enthusiast, or trier, with them.] but even in knowing all this, my dad still wants him to drop his art course to take computers. why? beats me. but i am definitely not going to let it happen.

i'm not trying to rebel against my dad or anything, but i believe that my brother should do what he loves to do. he might not know what he wants to do with those subjects later on in life, but i didn't know what i really wanted to do until pretty late too. yeah, my brother isn't really one that's motivated to get high marks or work hard - but he can definitely remember a lot more than me regarding historic events. and i think he's just waiting for some inspiration, maybe a eureka moment. the story of Peter Pan opens with, "All children, except one, grow up." some may take a little, or more than a little, longer than others - but, all the same, they will grow up and realize who they want to become. everything will fall into place in its own time. but for now, i say let him live his life.

The Short Story.

Not all relationships are meant to last forever.
Even when you're in love.
Some love stories are short stories.
But they are love stories, all the same.

GREEK, Season 3! the show i've been trying to get some people to watch with me to no avail
:(. well, i recently finished watching episode 18, and i guess i seem to oftentimes attach myself to random quotes, so to speak. but this one really stuck out to me. reason? not sure; probably because it fit so well with what the characters in the show were going through. in any case, i may derive the most random thoughts from these adjoined sentences, but they made me think of how..sometimes, we're just so scared or arrogant or skeptical that instead of even trying to write an amazing chapter in our lives, whether it be related to integrating ourselves into a completely new environment or going against the odds to pursue a dream or finding love - we back down. drop the pen. cause we just don't want to go through with something that might not even 'work'. that might 'hurt' us. that might simply turn out to be a 'complete waste of time'. but honestly, what would be so awesome about life if you just let it pass you by? where's the excitement, the unpredictability? i've got to admit, i'm not one to testify about taking risks. but it's a day-to-day adventure, and i'm learning. maybe i'll stumble and fall. maybe i'll get more than i ever could've imagined. what i'm saying is, some chapters in our lives may not turn out as perfect as a movie. some may simply turn out to be short stories. who knows? it's a long book. but when all's written and recorded, short stories are still stories; nothing's gonna be a 'waste of time'.
and in the end, the journey is the destination.

Much Ado About Nothing.

That what we have, we prize not to the worth
Whiles we enjoy it, but being lack'd and lost,
Why, then we rack the value, then we find
The virtue that possession would not show us
Whiles it was ours.

much ado about nothing. shakespeare, if you couldn't figure it out already. now, i know i hate reading quite a fair bit; but i have to say, shakespeare is quite a fair bit interesting. in any case, i didn't read the book just out of boredom or extended leisure times, my brother actually has an english exam. tomorrow morning. studying? i'd give that a 0.5/10, to put it gently. i mean, he doesn't even have the books, haha? well anyways, i decided to read up on the book, make some notes i guess. and i came across this quote :). shakespearean illiterates, it's basically a long-winded version of "you never know what you got 'til it's gone". which i can agree with, for the most part. not that you never know, but that you just don't find things as great of a treasure as they really are until you lose them.


look at him, so intently studying...obviously :\ haha.
ps. cuba! best place to make footprints in the sand :)